The Confines of a Woman's Heart

By: Lee Briscoe

 

 

What do I want in a woman? Is it possible that for me to completely know
what my inner longings are in that department I must have a woman to teach
me, not only what I want, but. what my, and every man's, needs are?

I feel that the scriptures are incomplete, especially in
relation to the woman's place in God's eternal scheme of things. I know it
must be far more than the small droplets of information contained within the
pages of the Bible, or any book existing. Some movie star said that what
she liked about being a woman was in having the power over men that she had.
I think she understood a little, but I am sure her comprehension was purely
on the physical level.

Men look at women, and tremble with desire and anticipation,
wanting those times when they will be one with these creatures they neither
understand nor comprehend; excepting through the medium of the physical, but
there is more.

When women stand before a mirror and see the curves and lines
that God has drawn upon them, in creating their symmetrical beauty, what do
they see? When they look upon, or examine, their secret places, do they
understand and comprehend what exists as part of them, and who and what they
are, and more, the proper utilization of such? When they look, do they see
them as secret places, or sacred?

A secret is something you can share with someone else, but sacredness goes
far beyond that. That which is sacred is holy; that which is holy is
something that has been consecrated; that which has been consecrated is
consecrated for certain, specific, or holy purposes. To use that which has
been consecrated in any other way than that for which it was consecrated is
to degrade and defile it. And when something becomes defiled it is easy to
forget what its true purpose was.

I think the sexual is an analogy, or a type, of deeper spiritual
things. I think that as a man trembles in excitement and euphoria when
entering into a woman physically that there is another part, segment,
fragment that in all actuality men absolutely need from women. Just as a
woman opens up to a man to allow him to enter her physically there is a need
for a woman to open up to allow a man to enter her spiritually.

I speak in theory, but in my heart I know it is true. In my
heart there is a deep inner longing for a woman to enter into, and be a
part, of me. Perhaps I am making this more complicated than it is, but in a
world where sexual gratification is given and taken in, and on, a basis of
defilement and degradation via the ignorance or narcissistic willfulness,
how rare true oneness must be.

I used the word secret before as something to be shared.
Perhaps we have secrets we are unaware of hidden within our bodies. Things
we have not shared on a conscious basis with ourselves. Do I know what I
have. really? I can look at my body in the mirror and say, "Yes! There it
is." But do I comprehend it, or do I need a woman to help me to fully
comprehend that which plainly appears before me? I know that I need a woman
to be my living mirror, to reflect back for me to see that which she
percieves more clearly than I ever shall.

I may know what this part of my body does for me, but if that
part of me is meant to be shared with another; do I understand that? Or
what that part of me does for them. Or what it's meaning for both of us is?
I am woefully ignorant, and I am afraid I shall continue in my ignorance
without a woman who sees me; not as I tell myself I am,but as I am. I need
a woman who sees this need of mine (that exists on a spiritual level), and
who will come into my life and give me completion. Just as my body cries
out for, and needs, another body to fulfill and complete it; my soul cries
out for, and needs, another soul to give it completion. Yet, in all I have
said, if the sanctity, the sacredness, is not factored into the equation
there will still exist a deep emptiness engulfing me, entombing me within
myself.

I may simply be infatuated with you. That is to say I am
creating in my mind a picture of you that makes you something you really are
not. But what if my infatuation, my picture of you in my mind, is correct?
Am I in love with the infatuation? I am in love with something I perceive
to have the ability to fulfill me and make me whole (i.e. holy)? Is there a
possibility that I am actually in love with you?

If God is love, if God is eternal, then love being God I must
expect that whatever I truly love must be loved by me forever. Yet I am
afraid we use the word love in our society in the same fashion as we use our
genitals, without comprehension. Do we use our hearts in the same way?

I think there is no place a man desires to find himself more
than within the confines of a woman's heart. To feel with every beat of her
heart that he is loved, that he is cared for, that he has finally come home.
One's heart is a scared place wherein nothing that unclean can enter; a true
holy of holies. I think many people are sex addicts because in the
euphoria, of the moment, they catch a glimpse of what their spirits really
need. Yet in it all, failing to grasp the sanctity of what they do, they
defile themselves. Like the druggie who uses drugs, trying to create
happiness; happiness becomes more and more elusive as they slip further into
their warped and twisted world of unreality.

So the questions I want to ask myself are: Am I real? Is the
woman I desire real? Is the happiness and contentment I am seeking after
real? My conclusions are these: I can never know the truth of these things
excepting in connection with a woman; woman who will lead me to myself.
Only when my head lies in peace within a woman's heart may I truly know who
and what I really am, and visa versa. I am afraid this is a quest as
challenging and daunting as that for any holy grail.

 

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